Women are not service-providers or epitomes of sacrifice

Yes, this is going to be a long post. Yes, it is going to be the antithesis of everything you have grown up to believe all your life...and still do.

With advent of FB, there are quite a few random (I really don't have a proper name for these sites...they are all like all forwards all combined in one place...the zone-out spot where you just keep watching random things one after the other without really gaining anything out of it). This site is one of those sites (no offence to the guys who've put this together...I know it's your bread and butter et al...but well...what are these sites for?)

This site had a very 'beautiful video' that had this title: "This beautiful 3 minute tribute to women will make you skip a hearbeat"
Here's what it shows:-
1. little boy learning to walk - female teaches
2. little boy crossing the road - little girl takes him through
3. little boy gobbles up his chocolate bar - little girl from 2 gives him half her chocolate bar though she clearly wants it all for herself
4. little boy about to be beat up - old female saves him
...wait, there's more...
5. teenage boy gives his book to girl - girl reluctantly takes it with her while teenage boy rushes off
6. guy in 20s sees a girl he likes - girl can't stand anyone smoking, guy quits
7. team of guys and one girl get together - one guy is quiet - girl asks him why

...by this time I was really irritated.What exactly did this person have in mind when making it? How the hell is this a 'tribute' to women? I actually went back and checked the meaning of tribute when I saw the video. Is that what a female is? A care-giver? And that is it?! Nope, her brains don't matter, her work...oh wait, she has no work except for that of a care-giver...it doesn't matter what age...if it's a little girl, you give your chocolate bar, if you're older, you give yourself - all your time and energy.

It's like when we think cows, we think milk and when we see females, we think babies!! Or worse, servants!! What's a woman's purpose in life? Cook, clean, feed, have babies and start over, till you reach menopause, in which case cook, clean and feed only.

And I thought we were in the 21st century! This is what is fundamentally wrong with our society. And there are actual bastards who still go about propagating this junk! Especially to little girls. What will such girls grow up to be? Goats?!

I'm not saying it's easy for guys...no it's not. All that junk about males are supposed to fend for all, they are supposed to  be 'strong', never cry, always be superior to their 'better halves', always prove to the world they are macho...junk yes. But in the whole scheme of things, at least they are supposed to be somebody, have a career, be known for their heads!

With girls, only two things matter, looks and services. Having a brain is actually a problem and a career, an even bigger one!

What do we do to fix this? Education isn't a problem. Heck, I know super-educated people, both girls and boys who talk about a woman's rightful place being her home and how work is good for a hobby. Why is this stupid cliche so difficult to break?

The dolphin trip

When in Goa, you get used to people approaching you offering all kinds of services. There's massages, tattoos, food, rooms, kayaks and boat rides. Amongst these, I found the boat ride guy the most insistent fellow I'd ever known. For every day that I was in Goa,he persistently asked us for a ride, every single day. And no, there wasn't an ounce of resentment in him, no matter how many times we turned him down. Every time we went past him, he had that friendly smile on his face and very sweetly asked us, do you wanna go boating today? We bargained hard for price, and he gladly obliged, and when we still didn't go, all he did was smile, just like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Finally, I relented. Now, what's different about these people is they are always in a "zen" mode. Just like he didn't get angry when we refused, he wasn't overwhelmed with joy when I agreed either. Wish I was like that. Wish my state of mind did not depend on circumstances. Anyway, coming back to the point, he was medium happy when I agreed to go. In orientation, he had told us he would show us a couple of things, dolphins, and various beaches and the whole shebang. He was sure that if we did not see it all, our trip would be meaningless.

So one fine day, early in the morning, I joined six other people for the 'most beautiful boat ride' of Goa. There was a newly wed couple, I know cause the girl was wearing a 'chuda' (ridiculous if you ask me, they weren't even Punjabi for crying out loud and this has become a trend these days! No matter what caste you are, there will always be a baraat, a very very flamboyant engagement, a mangalsutra ceremony...it's like all the various Indian cultures are blending into one...on second thoughts, maybe that's a good idea...inter-caste marriages would definitely get easier). There was a Spanish/Russian mother-daughter or sisters' pair (either the mother was very very well-maintained or the elder sister was a lot older than the other), two British solo female travellers, both about 50 years old, the other one looked older though and well, me. Each of us had been individually coaxed and convinced that this was 'the' thing to do. Each of us was sure to find something outstanding. I was definitely feeling all relaxed and liberated...it's the air about that place. And so, with lightness in the head and hope in the heart, we started. I remember seeing a flock of birds fly past and then a pretty little sun, gazing at us from far away. Things couldn't be better. Things couldn't be prettier...and while thinking exactly that, the boatman stopped the boat. 

There was no intimation, no heads-up. We just stopped, right there, in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Soon we realized. The sightings had begun! The boatman showed us some big, pink and fat fishes jumping in and out of water, which he insisted were dolphins. Sometimes, we saw the tail fin, sometimes, the other fin(whatever it's called) and sometimes just a tiny horn kind of thing bobbing out for a fraction of a second. The first time it was gone before I even saw it, the second time, I stared hard and got a good look at it. I was pretty certain it was not a dolphin. I was incredulous. I looked around at my co-passengers. Did they believe this? It seemed like each one of us was too scared to admit what they saw wasn't a dolphin. Nobody said a word. We had quite a few sightings of these 'dolphins' before everyone finally realized that they were being taken for a ride (get it? get it?). These were just some random big fish, pretty, no doubt, but not dolphins. Soon we were all joking around that this trip should probably be called 'random big fish ride - shut up and give me your money'. By this time we had moved on to other places to see more 'dolphins'. But before this joke could get old, the boat made a phutting noise, quivered a little bit and stopped. 

Now I know we weren't being the most easy tourists et al, but well, that didn't mean we should be stranded in the middle of the ocean! To make things worse, there wasn't another boat in sight, far and wide. The foreigners started to shift in their seats a little bit when about 10 minutes had past...though it sure felt like an eternity. And it did not help that the boatman, the zen guy, was all sweat and tension. I tried asking him what was wrong and all he said was, it won't start! So with baited breath, we all sat there...waiting. 

After what seemed like forever but was actually just 20 mins...the boat rumbled and started. My immediate thought was to have this guy turn around and take us back, but he was determined. A 45-minute ride is what he had promised and a 45-minute ride is what he will give - excluding this time. 

So we were off again, but this time, we saw real dolphins! And oh so pretty! Of course I never could catch them on camera, but they are such lovely, majestic beings. One almost came right next to our boat. Friendly fishes these.
The boatman now took us to the 'butterfly' beach. Since this guy was a little difficult to understand, I explained this to my fellow passengers to which one of the ladies (the Brit), asked me if we were going to see butterflies. In truth, we were not. Whoever came up with this name for this beach was definitely high when he did...or at least drunk. Because that is the only way you can see a simple beach and say it looks like a butterfly...it didn't even look like half a butterfly, or a quarter. But well, by then, we were all so relieved to have at least seen the real dolphins, we had grown forgiving. So we nodded courteously and looked on...to other weird-named beaches. There were quite a few, mind you. Here's the butterfly beach below. :)

The ride was completed in the stipulated 45 minutes - not a minute more, not a minute less. The boatman happily dropped us off back to the shore and started out to look for more tourists...for the best boat ride of their lives.