ACs and farts

Yes you read it right. I am talking about both ACs and farts and that too at the same time. Why? Well, with India prospering over the years and global warming and things to that effect, ACs are being put almost every damn where. And well, Indian lifestyle is strictly not conducive to the AC environment at all. Have you seen the food we Indians eat? There is at least one item that is either deep fried or flatulent. Don’t believe me? Okay, let’s start from the extreme north. Kashmir - staple food – rice, property – gassy, same goes for all of South India, North East and East. What’s left, West – think Rajasthan, Gujarat et al – most of the food there is deep fried and has loads of ghee et al. The best bet could probably be Maharashtra but think of ussal, vada pav etc and you know what I’m talking about.

Now that we have established that our eating habits are not necessarily the most helpful to the alimentary canal, answer me this. What happens when you eat? Well, gas. And what do you do when someone has really farted stale onion and garlic? The first instinct would be to close your nose. What do you do when it is still too strong? Well, you open all windows. What happens in an AC? You die.

And that my dear friends, is why ACs are not the best thing in India. We are way too many people and there is way too little space for any of those wonderful smells to go out. So we either reduce the population (ha ha) or make some arrangement through which we can open the windows time and again.