The autowallahs of Hyderabad

This article is written after gaining a rich experience of auto-travelling for almost two whole years and being alive and undamaged inspite of it (not that we wud need the autos really, with the blasts and the flyovers falling off on their own). But seriously, I am one of the lucky few who has emerged unscathed out of an auto till this day. If you think this is no big deal, read on...

An 'auto' or 'autorickshaw' (for the firangs who have never heard about it), is a 'three-wheel' automotive which looks something like the face of a pig wearing scuba gear merged into a buffalo's hind. This is no exaggeration, believe me. The front portion of it resembles a scooter while the back is more like that of a car, only a lot less comfortable. And the autowallah is the person who drives this 'thing', may also be called God of death who meanders through the road pulling out from the smalles possible crevices at jet speed. Defying all laws of gravity, traffic, common sense and anything else that there is to it. And this with atleast two guys standing/hanging/dangling (I dont really think I can describe it) on either side of the auto making the toppling over of this thing almost inevitable.
The idea is to get so many people cramped up inside the auto,that even if by any chance it does topple off, the passengers stay glued to their respective positions, so that when the auto is set upright, they just move on like nothing happened.

These rides are so scary that the thought of death comes to you automatically. I have actually made a list of all the things I need to get done before I pass away on one such trip. I even apologize to God for all my misgivings, not that he can hear it, with the techno cum retro cum whatever-they-call-it blaring music which would actually bring out the dead from their graves. I realise how short a life it can be (if I still manage to survive this trip) and how much more I need to accomplish till the next trip takes me to nowhereland.

There are kinds in these ppl too:-

1.You shut up and I will do the driving kind
These ppl take offence if u ask them to slow down, and gear up to show that they are offended. You are not to teach them their job. If you do, then get ready to bear the wrath of these 10-second Gods.

2. Money minting autowallahs
These autowallahs decide to give you a moral lesson on how you need to respect the poor and shell out extra money without objecting to it ( irrespective of what the meter shows).

3. the Raja Hindustanis

If you're a girl, then God save you from these flirtatious mad drivers. They've put the rear view mirror to a brand new use. To look at you.
I think it is after the movie Raja Hindustani and movies akin to it, where there's this poor taxi driver who gets the millionaire's daughter. Our autowallah, with the stylish, if not disfigured cap, the netted vest (if that's what you call it) and the weird colored pants...and yes, the Rajnikanth hairdo, is no less than a hero himself. And, if you ignore him, then you get an adventure ride of a lifetime for a nominal charge.

4. Wont-even-bother-to-respond kind
You've been waiting in the scorching sun for 15 mins now, and you finally see an empty auto. You stop him, ask him if he wud go to 'Hitec' and he just gives u a pitiful look and moves.

Life is not all about serenity and safety you know, there's much more to it too. And these autowallahs prove it time and again. You can hate them, loathe them, detest them, but you cannot do without them and that is the eternal truth of life. The autos in Hyderabad are the easiest modes of transport and cater to a large part of the population in this city. So while you're at it, have a joy ride.