Forbidden Fruit

What is it with us? By us I mean people...all of us...why is it that we secretly want to do everything that is called wrong? Why do we categorize everything as right or wrong? And how did we get about it? Did we just decide that everything that is fun becomes wrong automatically? And if that's how it is, why is it so much fun? Yeah you know what I mean. Think of the time when you were overloaded with work and you instead took a detour and browsed the net? The time when you knew something you'd say would snowball into something really really bad...and you said it anyway. The time when you knew you weren't supposed to eat that pastry because you knew it would break your 10-day no sweets vow. Why are we like this? I had a cousin who when she was 3 years old, tore a Rs. 500 note coz everyone told her not to.

What is it with us? Why is it, that the instant that something is banned, or stopped or made illegal, we want it...we want it like we never wanted anything ever before? What is this craving for...I don't even know what to call it? Craving for wrong-doing? Craving for just...no idea what.

What do we do to fix this? In fact, does it even need fixing? There are so many questions. Or is it just one of those questions? The ones that have no answers? Or that they are not even questions?

The whole story about Eve about wanting the fruit, because it was forbidden. Why are we always tempted to do wrong? What drives us to it? Are we inherently bad people doing good things? Or are we inherently bad people being forced to be good? What is it that we fear? Do we fear anything for that matter? Everything around the world is culminating. Everything is shrinking into one. Borders are vanishing, people are getting closer everyday. The idea behind this is that the boundaries of right and wrong are growing smaller and smaller every day. We are beginning to realize that what may be saint to one person, may be another's demon but that they both co-exist, often in the same person.

In such a world, what do we categorize as right, and wrong? Or is it just our universal 'thirst' of being restless. Of trying something new? Of being something new? Of doing something different? And if that is the case, why don't we just let go? When does it truly become wrong? Why is it that the alleged wrong-doers come together by a bond so strong that no right-doer (if that's a word), can have?

Wish there was a way to know...

Things that make me happy

It's been a while...quite a while actually since I wrote, and not because I wasn't thinking about it...its just that...I was being plain lazy. Can't call it writer's block just yet, haven't been writing as much, have I?

Anyway, focus! Have been feeling really blue these days, and have no idea why. Actually I do have quite the idea, but well, if something's being bothering you for a very long while, does it still qualify as the reason when it has been, well, forever. It definitely feels like forever to me. I lost my mother, and the fact is, I can't get over it. I don't think I ever will. It's like, a part of me, a really important part of me...or rather, the most important part of my being, is gone. Just like that. No byes, no last words, no nothing. She was just gone. The past one year and two months have been a nightmare. And it didn't help that my life went through so many changes all at the same time. To be very precise, I think the past year was a whirlpool. I accomplished the most important thing in my life (my MBA), my sister got married, I started to get chummy with my father...well some things just never change, but ya, he and I started to get to know each other all over again. And it wasn't easy, at all! So now, the state I often find myself in, is confused. When I am enjoying I feel guilty about it, when I'm not I'm thinking about ways to lighten myself up. I really don't know what I want anymore! I remember being really passionate about every little thing. Now, I don't know who I am. And Mummy's death has also made me realize, life ends, just like that, so I'd better live it to the fullest, before my time comes.

So here goes, the first bit, to figure out, my favourite things:-
1. Watching plants grow from teeny tiny seeds to well, plants
2. Buds blossoming into flowers
3. Learning something new
4. Solving puzzles et al that come in the paper everyday
5. Cooking something new, specially baking
6. Talking to someone who makes me laugh
7. Solving a tough problem
8. Sitting on a beach watching the sun set
9. Talking to a total stranger
10. Trying a different dish
11. Reading a book
12. Going through old photographs and cards

Will add things as and when I think of them. But so far, it seems I have it covered. At least, I won't die with the regret that I didn't do any of my favourite things. Next time, my wishlist.